My Own Little Way: Old Friends

Birthday party when we were about six. I'm second from the left. Old Friend (though they're all old friends really but I'm protecting her anonymity) is second from the right.

Make new friends

But keep the old

One is silver

And the other gold

I remember singing the song above as a young child in Girl Scouts. And its meaning has never been as clear as it is now, far from home with a few new friends and lots of old ones.

In college, I had my new college friends and my old childhood friends. Now I have a few new London friends and old college friends as well as old childhood friends. I'm learning that as I enter each new stage of life, my circle of old friends grows larger, and it seems to become more and more difficult to stay in touch.

I have to admit that I have a bad tendency to focus so much on my life here in London that I neglect messages from old friends. Especially if the email or letter is particularly long and detailed, I push it off until I "can give it more attention." And then suddenly, it's been two months and I have never responded to a message or a letter from a dear old friend.

But one of my best friends from childhood, whom I've known since age five and actually was in that Girl Scout troop with me, has just decided she is going to come visit me next month!! I don't deserve the generous gift of her visit; as our lives have moved in different directions, I have been particularly bad about keeping up with her. But she is happily willing to put aside her own life for a week, pay for an expensive and long journey, and make the trip out here to visit with me, and I could not be more grateful or more excited.

She and I talked on the phone for almost an hour last night, and it's not just a saying: we really did pick up right where we left off. She and I have grown into very different people, and we may not be friends if we met each other today. But old friends are so, so special in their own way. Because she has seen me at my lowest points, she knows how to comfort me. Because she has been with me as my dreams have come true--she was the first person outside of my family I called when I got into Harvard--she knows what is important to me and how to support me. She brings a different perspective to the troubles of today because she was there with me for all the troubles of yesterday.

So I have recommitted myself to prioritizing friendship in my life. Last year, in a senior reflection group at college, one of my classmates remarked that friends and family are the bedrock of any happy life. When your relationships are in a good place, you will be in a good place. When they are struggling, you will struggle. I think there is a lot of truth to that.

I want to be better about responding to email and letters and messages. I want to take the time out of my day to write letters and make phone calls. Old friends are too precious to lose, and I am so happy to have been reminded. Go ahead and reach out to an old friend today. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last spoke. There will always be more than enough to say to each other.